"Welcome to Junior High," Mr. Pittinger turned away from the chalkboard to face his new social studies class.
I was comforted to see that I was not the only one that was less than bright eyed. In fact, Connor Faldrane's mad gaze seemed directed at the world, not just me. He stared straight ahead with his pudgy face all contorted into a frozen snarl, like a mean dog poisoned, then stuffed. It was a clear example to be used by mothers everywhere that swear your face can freeze in the worst possible positions. Anyway, I was glad to walk by the bitter bully without him trying to trip me.
"If you will all please write this down," Mr.
Pittinger pointed back to the chalkboard.
"This will be the focus of study for the entire first
semester. It reads, 'El Pueblo de
Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula'. Can any of you tell me what it
translates to
Part of that statement was very familiar to me but in my worn-out state it took longer than usual for me to dig it out of my memory box. Plus, I really didn't care. But being in Los Angeles we had a good amount of Spanish speaking kids in the class.
Chunky little Maria Suarez raised her hand and blurted out, "It says something about the town of the lady queen of angels." She put her arm down and sat back in her chair as if there was nothing more to be said.
Mr. Pittinger hiked his already short khakis up a couple of inches and sat on the edge of his desk, he glanced over the seating chart. "Maria is it?"
"Yes sir."
"You are close. What this translates to in English is, 'The Town of Our Lady the Queen of the Angels of Porciuncula.' Everyone repeat after me.
"The Town of Our Lady the Queen of the Angels of Porciuncula," tripped through our 7th grade mouths with the enthusiasm of the Pledge of Allegiance.
"Good,
take notes as much as necessary," Mr. Pittinger, warned us. "Over the next several weeks we
will be studying all about how the city of Los Angeles came into existence. You
can forget the last words, 'of Porciuncula', you may come across this in your
studies but I am here to tell you that scholars have determined that the
settlement was simply named El Pueblo de la Reina de Los Angeles. From a many-worded name in Spanish, now
to the shortened 'Los Angeles' in English, today it's just 'L.A.' in Southern
Californian speak," he stopped for air. It was just about then that I remembered where I'd heard
part of that saying before, from Benny's Grandma Silver. I began to care. I desperately rummaged through my
My head spun. I wanted to chop it off and ditch the memory box for good. I really thought this time, I was going to faint. Going back to the fair, this could either be the best thing I could ask for or my worst nightmare come true. Not only that, I never imagined we'd get so much work the first few days of school. Work that would probably be for nothing, 'cause I was sure they didn't care much about L.A. in N.Y. This guy was brutal. How in the world were Benny and I going to get out for the next day's hearing? Not to mention the fact that it was becoming more and more obvious to me that the entire town, including my family, was in on a cruel joke being played against me. How else could all of these incredible things be happening that all seemed related? Since school the previous year, everyday of my life had been one freakish coincidence after another. In a normal setting I might have been happier with this assignment because of the head start I had with the research.
The bell rang, ending first period. I waited for Benny outside the class. I didn't want to give him the chance to blab about the hearing or the fair.
"Hey Rennie, aren't you gonna wait for Connor?" Two of Faldrane's gang buddies were the first ones out.
"Nah, he turned into a loser ratfink over the summer." Rennie answered.
"Yeah, he's always lame anyhow," Ryan followed setting his new sights on Rennie.
Benny was basically the last one out as I watched everyone else pour into the hall. I made sure to stay out of the way -- flat against the opposite wall. That didn't stop Faldrane and his only remaining loyal subject, Jesse Lutz from knocking into me without so much as a glance. If I had been feeling better I would have run after Rennie and Ryan to form a Faldrane brigade. I just didn't have the energy.
"Eli! Can you believe it? We're going to the fair. This is going to be awesome," Benny finally came out of the class.
"No I can't believe it. Why are you so happy? This could be a disaster. Plus we have all this work and we can't be here tomorrow."
"We call in sick just as planned. What's the big deal? We'll have notes from our moms. Besides you have to BELIEVE it.
"Believe what?"
"You're a mess, and you look green, so calling out sick should be easy.
Hey did you get a load of Faldrane?"
Before I continue... I want to mention a great loss to the world of movie lovers today, Director John Hughes, Rest, you brilliant man.
"Yeah, I got my load full. Hopefully he won't be in many more of my classes.
Good thing for me; the rest of day one in the seventh grade was pretty uneventful. Faldrane was only in one more of my classes -- English. By the time it rolled around that afternoon, I had combined my yellow mask with the rusty orange one and I was taking part in a happy, knowledge day. By days end, I had put aside the idea of a conspiracy to make me nuts. And, I recalled some of the bits of my download moment from Benny's Grandma Silver. I was certain I had to meet with Gypsy. And for no explainable reason, I believed it would be okay.
"We'll pick you up in the morning," I told Benny as he got on his bus. "Probably in a different kind of car again knowing Dad."
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